wolvenchic's Xanga

The cliche boring post

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 23:16:52 GMT

This isnt meant to be one of those "im so fat" blogs.. but is more of.. after looking at my picture, I realized how big I am. Its almost like I never realized how much I let myself go and if I did realize it, I kept telling myself it was a bad angle, or something along those lines. What the hell happened?

Im going to put the free gym at my apartment complex to use, I know Ive got a wedding comming and the dress fits me as is, but if I can loose enough weight to at least look like I should - maybe I will feel better. In the past I have suffered deeply from bulimia, but I can promise you... this time - it is real. The scale even tells me so, 35 pounds more than I should be @ 5'2".

This is me trying to loose 30 lbs, honestly. I dont want to "let myself go" any further. To ignore it might turn into something terrible.Have you ever had one of those moments that you realized you were much worse than you thought you were?

- Nelle.

The inspiring picture...

100 days until the wedding

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:47:16 GMT

...and I dont have a thing done. Well I have stuff done, just not all that I want to. I still have to send out invitations and figure out what we are eating at the reception hall. I have been getting a little frustrated though, not a bridezilla yet, but you know, Ive still got 99 days to get there. Honestly, planning all this wedding stuff is so stressful, I just really want to go to sleep and not wake up until it is all done for me! Ok, ok... I know thats not gonna happen. But while I am asleep, I can dream that it is all done and over with. =D

100 days left and so far....

I have my dress.
I have the wedding and Reception hall
I have food paid for, I just got to pick it off the menu.
I have the cake paid for
I bought the bridesmaid dresses

I need to get the groomsmen gifts
I need to get my bridesmaids gifts
I need to get the invitations out
I need to get the "wedding favors"
(about here I'll probably have a drink)
I need to get my parents a gift
I need to set up a registery
I need to make sure we have an officiant
I need to decide on which DJ
I need to get my shoes
I need to get Zev's wedding ring
I need to pick out my engagement ring (he wants me to pick it)
(sanity: check)

Zev needs to:
Pick out his Tux and Shoes
Pick out where to go for the rehearsal dinner
Help me pick the dinner menu

Im sure there is more...but my brain is fried. 99 more days to become...

Friday, February 19th, 2010.

posted November 11, 2009 9:15 PM

Busy, Busy, Busy

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:31:22 GMT

As you guys know, Ive been busy. We set the wedding date. Friday February 19th 2010, my bridesmaids aren't sure they come now, but thats ok. This wedding is about Zev and I, not the people surrounding it. =) If they can make it, great! If not, I understand.

Halloween, my bro and I were goofing off and having a blast. I even got to carve a maliciously cute pumpkin. =P

Alright, some people dont think "cute" when they see it, but I do. Halloween night, Zev, Josh and I all went to see our buddie Randy in his wrestling match, it was pretty fun =P

We got home and Zev was unbelievably sweet. Like - toothache - sweet. He made my night. So, what did you guys do for halloween?

Photobombers Unite!!

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 13:33:23 GMT

	photobomb :
	1.(verb)- to drop in a photo unexpectedly...to hop in a picture right before it is taken. 2. to be the unexpected person in said picture, doing some thing unexpected, etc. Now, after going through my facebook profile, Ive got to admit, I laughed my butt off at some of them... here are a few of my friends at it...heh The "Monster Photobomb": Here is the " My cousin is a camera ham" Photobomb Here are two "bunny" Photobombs, in short "bunnybomb" Here are a few more... The "glamour shot" Photobomb" The "boobie " photobomb or the "boobiebomb" (followed by a hand bomb in the shape of a gun) And one more, but certainly not the last of them The random bomb " You can call them whatever you want, but they are a photobomb. I love photobombers. =D. If you have any photobombs you would like to add, send me a link! __________________________________________________________________________________________ Here is one that annamariuhh was so nice to send =D! lol awesomeness! October 23, 2009 7:12 PM

Got My Wedding Dress in the Mail...

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:21:29 GMT

First, let me apologize, its been a while scince Ive blogged. So, I got my wedding dress in the mail a few days ago, at first I can say I was weary. The fact that I'd been tracking it like a hawk in a foreign language made me paranoid..

Example:

When the package arrived, I was freaking out. It came in what looked like a grey texturized bag the size of a throw pillow and felt like it weighed less than 3 pounds. Oh crap..oh crap...oh crap!

But sure enough, as I undid the package, there it was...my dress. Looked just like it did in the picture! I'll be darned.
Unfortunately, I havent a camera to show you what I look like in it. But here is a picture of a model way thinnner than I in it. =P

(click to enlarge)

The dress looks great on me from the front, it kind of supresses any boobage I might have, so there is only a small bust, however - the back is where I freak a little bit. It seems cut off to quickly, so what I might do is find some full width blue and green ribbon (the colors of my wedding, and my dress is already Ivory) and use it to lace the corset style back, the color should distract from the cut off I dont like.

Another thing I aim to do is get half cup sleeves tailored onto the dress (because of my broad shoulders), kind of like the dress I showed in one of my previous posts...

Ahk, I dont know how I feel about it yet, but hey, I only paid 60 bucks for the dress brand new (tailored to fit), I cant complain >.<

What do you think?

October 21, 2009 9:32 PM

Breaking up with a friend

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:42:55 GMT

You know, breaking up with friends, like breaking up any kind of relationship, is tough to do, but sometimes nessesary. Recently I had to break ties with a friend I had known for years. I met him when I was 14, he was 12 so he was like a little brother to me. At one point he had developed a crush and I told him it was kind of weird and that I couldnt see him that way, but it didnt hurt our friendship. It really didnt suffer too much having said most of it was over the phone. Daniel got into some pretty heavy crap, drugs, selling pirated dvds, dropping out of school and all sorts of a mess. I tried to be the good friend and guide him back to where he needed to be. Yet somehow, he always ended up in jail, or selling drugs, doing drugs, or something that just made me completely uncomfortable. I introduced him to my friend cayla about 3 years ago.

Little did I know that his little crush hadnt gone away. Her entire friendship with him became based around me, and his crush. Now, she told me about this in confidence, and I knew that there may have been some access feelings - but I had no idea it had gone to "creeper" level. He was obsessing, not to me, but to my friend who was getting fed-up with the fact that a guy who she met and was falling for - couldnt stop talking about me. It sent shivers down my spine, but I respected the fact that he never came out to me about this. Months went by and it got creepier and creepier. He no longer called me to find out how I was doing, he called cayla. We werent really friends anymore, but he had put me so high on a pedistal thatI never was on. Then one day he dropped by my house and wanted to get zev and I some food. We drove to the food joint and made our way back. He had gotten a new car...and there were burned dvds in the back. He was selling again, you think he would have learned after going to jail twice. After home and he left - I called cayla - only for her to tell me he stole a car that previous night while high. He took me to the store, in a stolen vehicle and has a ton of pirated dvds in the back seat.

Its time to break this friendship off. He is a liar, he is obsessive, he doesnt know when to quit getting in trouble and now he is putting me in jeapardy?

Goodbye Daniel.

Have a good life, stay out of trouble. I wont be in it anymore, Ive tried to help but youve resorted to lying. Im not judging you, but you are putting me at risk. After 9 years of friendship, Goodbye.

October 12, 2009 5:32 PM

He was Aroused.

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 18:29:07 GMT

So, my friend Helen has had it rough in the past few years, single mom of two whose fathers are really crummy, one being her very abusive ex boyfriend, the other father wanting little much to do with his kid (both children are amazing). She hasnt always made the best decisons and tends to be one of the "drama" prone friends in a group. Im not judging her, but dont get shy to tell her why she is doing so badly sometimes, and she loves me for that because I dont sugar coat and tell her what she wants to hear. However, recently there was one incident that was really hard on her that I couldnt really say was her fault at all.

She knows this guy, Edison, I know him too. Pretty neat guy to know, he is in and Dj's at a lot of the hotspots in H-town, he also gets us the connections into some pretty bad-ass clubs. She has known him scince she was 8 years old when she moved here from Peru. He is her sister's best friend (her sister lives in germany now), and she has always looked up to him and had a crush on him scince she was 8 and he took her trick or treating (he is about 6 years older than her). So its been kind of a weird thing for her, she thinks he is awesome, has always been able to confide in him - but has never been too close because he was "viviana's" best friend. She felt wrong for having a crush on him when he was treating/seeing her as a little sister figure. So, she convinced herself to look at him as a kind of big brother figure - you know, that guy who is protective of you with no intent towards you in a romantic or lustful way at all?

Well now, that has changed dramatically in the past week.

Edison, who has been dating this girl Nanis for about 3 years, has been acting a little weird. Helen and him have never been best friends, but you know - she would call him on advice on guys, they'd text to share what's going down in htown on the weekends and really just talk about Viviana when something was up. But lately he has been calling her a lot, which really - she has done all the calling scince they were young - he is a texter. Then he wanted her to come with her to a show cause he had no-one to go with, so he picked her up and made a weird notion. He reached over and tried massaging her leg to inner thigh - she shrieked, diverted and they went to the show. She asked me about it and I said that was weird, but we decided it'd be better to let that pass no matter how awkward that was- just trying not to assume something but keep it in mind. So we went out to the club, she ran into an ex (who was the doorman?!) and ran into Edison. He seemed to be acting ypical and was envolved with his group, giving helen little attention and setting her at ease. We finished our night on the town and on her way home, edison called her, weirdly again. His parents' locked him out of his house by accident, so he wanted to know if she would watch a movie with him. At her place, or...at a hotel? WTF? She said he was going home and called me right after to find out what to do, I told her to call him back and tell him not to come over! The massage was freaking weird and suggestive enough - but a hotel room? You dont go to a hotel room to watch movies. So she tried to call him back, but he didnt pick up and showed up at her place. Hes never been in her apartment before, but picked her up for the first time that other night. But he was at the door, and she wasnt sure of his intentions so she let him in. Sure enough, as she put on a movie, he put "the mack" on her and then she had the intervention and told him no, and how much he was putting at stake.

He had a GF of 3 years, he would loose her
Helen doesnt want to be a homewrecker
If they did kick boots, friendships are never the same
and many other meathods of reason.

And to really let his little friend drop, she mentioned the bro-figure thing and how he used to take her tricker treating when she was 8 years old. Yeaup, that killed the mood for him, she said he had the "yeah, your right, WTF am I doing look" they talked it over, hugged, said goodbye and that was it.

So, she has got some questions she has been asking me.

"Do you think he and I will be able to stay friends scince we left on a good note? Do you think he will tell nanis? Am I to blame for letting him in? Do you think he believes he cheated - do you think he will tell nanis?"

Some tough questions, I think he should tell his gf, because Ive always believed that cheating is in the intent - even if he didnt get anything from helen. I think her and him could keep a friendship so long as they are distant like before, because Edison doesnt know that helen still has a little crush on him and saying no was REALLY hard for her. She played the "big bro" card and it worked. But I think she should distance herself.

Do you think that a friendship could recover from something like that, and you consider that cheating or is that a little conservative?
At what point is it cheating, because like I said its when the intent changes for me.

To decribe myself a little, even if someone doesnt act on a behavior like Edison, if you are hanging out with someone your lingering for between the legs, but have a SO, your indulging on something thats a feeling that should only be for your SO, your intentions are changing. I know I wouldnt like my boyfriend hanging out with someone he is considering getting intimate with, just like how my boyfriend doesnt like going to strip clubs because he knows that if that was me getting all up on some dude so get him sexually aroused, he wouldnt like it. Its kind of an, If youd have to hide it - there is something wrong scenerio. Thats when your intent changes, and I definately believe Edison cheated.

What do you think? Is that cheating material? What would you have done differently than helen if so?

Project Wedding, Keeping the Budget

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:43:36 GMT

Alright you guys, you remember my estimate/budget list from forever ago? (on this blog) I think I'm going to be able to keep my wedding (for about 150 -200 people) under 4000 bucks.

My origional list:
Hair & Makeup                                25.00
Beverages & Bartenders                  300.00
Food & Service                               1000.00
DJ                                                       120.00 (maybee cheaper if i can get my buddie to do it)
Bridesmaid dress                     100.00
Groom Suits                                      100.00
Wedding dress & Accessories        100.00
Bridesmaid Bouqets                           30.00
Groom Corsages                                   30.00
Recept. Centerpieces                     50.00
Photographer                              200.00
Cake                                             100.00

My NEW list:
Hair & Makeup                                       25
Recept. Hall, Wedding Venue             3,150
Cake, Food - drinks, Lenins
and table decor (4 hours)
Adult Beverages & Security                300.00
DJ                                                           150.00 (maybee cheaper if i can get my buddie to do it)
Bridesmaid dresses  (3)                        45.00
Groom Suits                                          100.00
Wedding dress & Accessories             84.00
Bridesmaid Bouqets                            30.00
Groom Corsages                                 30.00
Photographer                                         free
Invitations                                             30.00
Postage                                                 50.00
Minister                                                  free
____________________________________________
                                                                3694.00

I think Im doing good so far. The italisized item are pending, but im sure I can get them cheaper. Do you see anything that Im missing? or that I might be able to cut back on?

I had the snot scared out of me

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 22:49:06 GMT

I just had the snot scared out of me; I had been thinking all day about a friend of mine who had passed away and all of the sudden I had a messege from them. W-T-F!? They commented on my myspace status -I looked at the comment and well, Have you ever had someone hack into one of your accounts? You know, WOW, myspace, facebook, email, maybe even your xanga? Well it is NOT cool to hack into dead person's account and start messeging thier friends. NOT COOL.

I love and miss you Susan, but for a minute there - Whew! I thought I was nuts (well I am, but I think you know what I mean).

Hackers are NOT cool.

A Rare and Ugly Situation

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 00:43:02 GMT

You know, I got a call the other day I wasn’t expecting from an ex; he is one of two that I still talk to, all the other Exes I want nothing to do with because they are scumbags in one way or another – that is a whole other story, you’d have to ask details on that. My Ex, TJ called me during a slow point of my observation hours and sounded sort of distressed. I decided to take the call considering he either calls me when he is really excited or something horrible has happened. Last time he called me excited about a year ago about winning 2,000 bucks in poker (his token game). This time it wasn’t as splendid of a situation, he said it had to do with Kelley (1 of his son’s momma and the love of his life).

His tone was slow paced . . and broke every other word. He was frustrated and torn about something. Kelley had been raped (not in dicrimitation, but by an African Man, for future reference), and as horrible as that is alone, a month later she found out she was pregnant. Now here is the hard part, they didn’t know if it was TJ’s or an occurance of the rape. Neither of them believe in abortion, so they decided to have the kid. (TJ and Kelley are both white) However when the child was born, she was mixed. So TJ went into description about how because of the child’s birth – the man has now been convicted up to 15 years. I had just gotten done commenting on a Pulse of DearRicky’s about people who condone rape; in this case, it rang true – The man pleaded guilty after he was taken and threatened to take a lie detector test. When he realized his situation he admitted although she had screamed no over 3 times, he had gotten so far – so it would be ok to get away with it. Horrible stuff..

TJ is all mixed up about it, he doesn’t know what he wants to do about the child, how he would be able to describe to the child why she doesn’t look like her siblings… He was also scared that he would treat her differently (unintentionally) and was hurting over the fact that another man had violated Kelley so horribly. He holds no resentment of the child, because its not her fault – but due to his fears, he is thinking about putting the child up for adoption. I cant imagine how he feels right now – he said that the little girl was so beautiful, however everytime he looked at her, he was reminded of what happened to Kelley. I wonder how Kelley feels? This is one of those rare chances that someone has gotten pregnant in rape, and they chose to not have the abortion. They may be keeping this child TJ seems to love her considering the circumstances of the girl not being his biological daughter.. I just cant help but wonder how Kelley feels. I don’t think I could have an abortion, but it would make me wonder if I would give the child up for adoption (like in Tims case, he believes the child is beautiful as it is a part of Kelley - however he is concerned maybe that he wouldnt be able to care for the child as if it were his own). I think a lot of it might have to do with association, and there would be a lot of people that would say not to have the child at all if you dont plan on caring for it - but thier predicament was that they simply could not have an abortion if it was legitimatley thiers..

What the heck I would do in this situation I dont know, I told him that I really didnt have anything to say to it.. and he said that there really wasnt anything to be said.

Do you think you could have anything to say to this? I mean do you think the child would have good care? This is an incredibly horrid situation to be in, and a rare one at that...What do you think you would do? Would you be able to have the child or stay with a woman having the child? Do you think you would put them up for adoption, or would you have had an abortion - even if you didnt know if it was legitamitely your SO and yours biological child? I...I dont even know how to ask all the questions running through my mind right now...poor T..

Any thoughts, opinions?

October 02, 2009 3:51 PM

- Nelle